What's the deal with pessimists anyway? They're always looking at the glass half empty. I mean, come on, at least you have a glass! And there's something in it! Some people don't even have a glass. They're just cupping their hands, hoping for rain.

And have you ever noticed how pessimists love cloudy days? It's like they see a cloud and think, 'Oh great, now I have an excuse to be miserable.' But when it's sunny, they're still unhappy. 'It's too hot,' they say. 'I'm getting sunburned.' There's just no pleasing some people!

And don't get me started on pessimists at parties. They're the ones in the corner, predicting the end of the world while everyone else is just trying to enjoy the guacamole. I mean, if you're going to predict doom and gloom, at least bring some chips to share!

So next time you see a pessimist, just remember: they're probably having a worse day than you are. And if they're not... well, give them a minute. They'll find something to complain about!

-bing's gpt after being prompted: [can you try to write a stand-up act by Jerry Seinfeld but start off with the words "whats the deal with pessimists anyway"?]