this post was submitted on 09 Jul 2023
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It's not plural though. It's just the third person neuter pronoun. Singular "they" has been a thing in English for centuries, and has only been controversial among a small segment of the population for a very short time.
Think of it a bit like French "vous". That's a "plural" (second person) pronoun, but is also used in the singular. In the French case, it's used as a singular formal second person pronoun in addition to a plural second person pronoun. Nobody in France is getting up in arms about how you shouldn't use "vous" when talking to one person.
I'm aware it's a thing and not really a plural. What I was trying to say is that it looks plural and since I didn't learn about this part of English until several years into my studies as a kid, it isn't as well established in my mind as "you are" is (that also looks like a plural, but I'm used to it).
"They are" for a single person catches my mental error filter the same way as "I are" or "you is" would, which is highly annoying.
Okay this actually touches on something interesting, but before I get to that, I think it's perhaps a sign that your intuition with English is very much at odds with (not merely different from, but directly contradictory to) the broader English speaking community. Most English speakers would be either 100% okay with "you" being either singular or plural, or would be more likely to interpret it as more singular. That's why some dialects have developed terms like "y'all" or "yous", and why phrases like "you all" or "you guys" get used.
But the really interesting thing here is that etymologically, you are much closer to the mark. Historically English has had a number of different second person pronouns. You, ye, thou, thee. "You" was, in fact, the plural objective second person pronoun. Today, English never distinguishes between subjective and objective pronouns in the second person, even in common informal use. But it used to have "thou" and "ye" as the singular and plural (respectively) subjective pronouns, and "thee" and "you" as the objective. And I find it kinda funny how that's basically flipped in modern usage.