"I don't need to comment this code at all, it's pretty self-explanatory, I'll remember this 100% no problem."

Scene cut:

Me six months later, staring blankly at the code like the monkeys & The Monolith in 2001: A Space Odyssey, desperately trying to unravel the workings of my ADHD brain and just exactly why the seemingly innocent and innocuous-looking function named "dontFuckingTouchThis" is the lynchpin preventing the whole goddamned thing from falling over and going tits-up.