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this post was submitted on 04 Nov 2023
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Asklemmy
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IDK what to tell you... mood swings will most probably be a part of your life. She drank for a reason, it made her feel good. When she doesn't have that fix, she's most probably like you experience her now. She might get better with time (less abusive), than again, chances are (from my experience) that she won't.
Well I had issues with drinking myself when I was younger and I got through it decently fine. I'm sorry you've had such a bad experience yourself but I'm really hoping it doesn't turn out that way here. Though I do know the possibility exists. When she's sober she still says she wants help. As long as she doesn't give up entirely on herself I'm not giving up on her either.
Hope is our biggest asset... as humans... and our biggest downfall... I had hope as well.
Sorry for saying this, but from my current perspective (experience), nah, I wouldn't take that chance. If I was in your place (not having to live through what I have, and still doing it BTW), yes, I most probably would take that chance as well.
A friend of mine once told me, entering a marrige with hope doesn't end well. From what I've seen around me (other examples and my own mother and father), yes, in most cases, it doesn't end well.
Basically, you're getting "damaged goods" in the start. If you feel like you're also damaged goods and need a lot of work (from one perspective or another), that's fine I guess, but I never felt like that. Sure, everyone has his/her quirks, no doubt there, but this is big. When pushing comes to shoving (as does from time to time in life), she'll probably just go into recession and start drinking again... and this will happen from time to time, not too often, bit then she'd go to rehab, you won't be with your partner for an undisclosed ammount of time... I mean, really? Is that what you'd want your life to be like? Talking from experience here, my family's and my own, trust me. Yes, people can change, but these are rare cases. Most of the time, they don't.
My 2 cents...
Sorry, had to edit the post a few times.