this post was submitted on 19 Nov 2023
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Oh sure. I'm totally with you on this. Difference is I'm no alcoholic nor do things that have a bad influence on people, nor were my friends addicts.
If anything, I'm a better person than 10 years ago because I'm less depressed, more happy, Way easier to talk to, do sports, friendlier, don't talk about politics much anymore, don't put myself on a pedestal, and way less aggressive. So that people stop wanting to be my friends hurts a lot, because everything I do and the person I am, is a much much better person and I worked so hard on that.
I don't and can't believe people liked my asshole self more than me now. And these people that stopped talking to me are also good people. It's absurd.
I feel you.
On your 3rd paragraph, I also have no idea why this happens, but we are not the only ones. Maybe people get the idea we became too self-centered?
I cannot comment on you because I don't know you, but in my case, if I were to be self-critic, I always focus too much on my career, wife, hobbies, household chores, family... friends were always the last priority on my schedule. People pick up on that quickly, idk.
I do have some friends though who are low maintenance and with these I find its much easier to keep friends with. We can go 6 months without seeing each other and its still fun to get together.
I appreciate the insight, I'll reflect on that.