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submitted 10 months ago by Bebo@literature.cafe to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

It was sometime in early 2022 that I found myself reading a few romance novels. I remember being mildly annoyed about how most of the books had instant chemistry/attraction as part of the plot. Then I suddenly found myself wondering, how do I feel if and when I feel attraction? I think I have probably never felt instant attraction. When I look at a good looking man/woman I just feel an appreciation for their beauty, like how I would feel looking at a beautiful painting or photograph. At most all I feel is a wish is to look at them a few times more than is appropriate. I don’t remember how it feels like to feel attraction towards someone I have feelings for. The last time I felt strong feelings for someone was many years ago and I can’t recall my feelings now. I am very curious to know how other people feel when they experience attraction towards someone. How does it feel physically, and what thoughts and/or feelings do you experience? Also, do you consider chemistry and attraction to be the same or different? How?

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[-] Moonguide@lemmy.ml 3 points 10 months ago

Idk, honestly. I might be ace, demi ace at least. Closest to attraction I've ever felt is interest due to vibes. Like, some people look like they could hold an interesting convo or might have cool hobbies. And not necessarily talking about how they dress or look, but because of how they carry themselves. Someone being traditionally beautiful does nothing for me.

Though I consider attraction to be different from chemistry. I've had chemistry with folk I'm not attracted to, and I've been "attracted" to people I have no chemistry with. The latter is the worst.

this post was submitted on 20 Nov 2023
75 points (97.5% liked)

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