Asklemmy

43963 readers

1483 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
!lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 5 years ago

MODERATORS

497

Is it normal for a person to "feel" less as they get older? (lemm.ee)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by aCosmicWave@lemm.ee to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

129 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I remember experiencing the world much more vividly when I was a little boy.

I would step outside on an autumn evening and feel joy as the cool breeze rustled the leaves and caressed my skin. In the summers, I would listen to the orchestra of insects buzzing around me. I would waddle out of the cold swimming pool and the most wonderful shiver would cascade out of me as I peed in the bathroom. In the winters, I would get mesmerized by the simple sound of my boots crunching the snow under me.

These were not experiences that I actively sought out. They just happened. I did not need to stop to smell the figurative roses, the roses themselves would stop me in my tracks.

As I got older, I started feeling less and less and thinking more and more.

I've tried meditation, recreation, vacation, resignation, and medication. Some of these things have helped but I am still left wondering... is this a side effect of getting older? Or is there something wrong with me?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] RickRussell_CA@kbin.social 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Part of it is looking back through rose-colored glasses. Sure, there was joy, but there was that time you stubbed your toe and you got so emotionally disregulated that you cried for an hour, or the time your parents put the wrong color socks on you and you screamed a bad word at them and refused to leave the house, or... etc.

You learned to regulate your emotions. That's mostly a good thing, but it also means that you learn to control yourself in the moment, and you don't tend to lose yourself in joy like you did as a child.

And that's OK. I enjoy things differently now, than I did then. Back then, when I played with a toy car, it gave me great joy but if something broke, or things didn't go my way, I also suffered uncontrollable anger and frustration. Today, when I take my TRX-4 trail truck out on the trails, I feel a different kind of joy that is mixed with intellectual understanding of the engineering of the machine, an appreciation of the beauty of the natural world that I didn't have as a child, etc. And if something breaks, it's not an emotional thing any more. I know I can fix it, I have the ability and the desire.

Heck, it's enjoyable to break things, take them apart, and fix them again. That certainly wasn't true when I was 6.

[–] platysalty@kbin.social 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

And if something breaks, it's not an emotional thing any more. I know I can fix it, I have the ability and the desire.

Fixing stuff breaking is honestly half the fun. Weird love hate thing.

[–] RickRussell_CA@kbin.social 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Exactly. Break something, and the fun stops for now, but TIME FOR AN UPGRADE!

[–] platysalty@kbin.social 1 points 1 year ago

Geez, let everyone know my MO why don't you.