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this post was submitted on 27 Nov 2023
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My commute is 0 seconds in the morning. I wake up, get rolling on my morning routine, open up my Surface, and log in to the morning meeting. I am productive instantly, and start on my workload within 30 minutes of being awake. I often finish everything needed of my department within 2.5-5 hours, with extra time to improve or fuss over details to enhance the client's deliverable or improve UI or something.
Meanwhile, my in-office peers at other firms are just getting settled into their desks after their 2nd mandatory in-person attendance huddle meeting, sometime around 10:30 in the morning. Of course, this is followed by waiting 45 minutes in queue to pay 10$ for burnt old coffee at the cafeteria, and shuffling around a maze of corridors and 2 different elevators for 15 minutes just to get to their assigned desk for the day. Oh, and that's after their key card for elevator 2 desync'd, so there's been an hour of waiting around for Jan from Facilities to approve Todd from IT's request for an authorization on a new key card, and a 40$ pay deduction from the employee for missing a key card in the first place. Of course, that's in addition to the demerit for missing their 3rd in-person attendance huddle of the morning. By the time lunch hour hits, they're finally logged in to their machine with just enough give-a-fuck left to sneak in Facebook memes when their manager isn't over them looming; all while giving enough shits to ignore their actual workload because they hate it there.
Yeah, but what about free cold brew?
You mean the pot of coffee with a few gnats in it that Pedro left out overnight?
They squirted some Torani Pumpkin in it and put some Sonic ice on top. It's now 12$.
And the forced socialization/“were a family” activities! They rule! Really! I swear!