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It honestly sounds like you are describing exactly what's wrong with Uber, but instead you are saying all that about taxis? Taxis are usually cheaper now and I have had less issues with them especially if you flag them down in person.
An Uber driver once kept talking about setting the mood and wanted me and my girlfriend to make out or something. No taxi driver hardly even spoke to me, which is what you want.
...how? The things I listed are all things various taxi services have done to me, many times in various combinations. Out of all the taxi experiences I've had I think like 2 were decent
This tells me you're in a major city like NYC where there is actually decent taxi competition and this is the norm. Short of being in a major city, you're likely being serviced by 1 or 2 taxi companies and they give no shits, because they're the only game in town (Until Uber/Lyft comes to town anyways).
Too little too late, they've burned me way too many times, you couldn't pay me to take a taxi again
No, I'm primarily talking about being at an airport or other location where taxis normally are just hanging out.
What's weird is that some of this, if you said 15 years ago, I would've gotten. But now, after Uber has come along and essentially slowly turned into everything taxis are except worse, it's an interesting comment to me...
The one area where Uber will never compete is with driver knowledge. To compare -- my last Uber experience was a highly stressful one where the driver basically got lost and did not know how to get to my location. The road the navigation app took them on was closed, but it's a regular thing. Something I didn't know but likely a cab driver would have.
By contrast, I got home from a trip a couple of months ago and the driver asked my address. I told him, he didn't write it down, didn't use a gps. Barely spoke English. I was skeptical he knew where it was. He drove right to it and saved me waiting time and $15. I didn't live on main St or anything like that...
The main advantage used to be that Uber was cheaper and more convenient. I never see it cheaper any time I check, and as far as convenience goes, I've had some of the most insane experiences with drivers cancelling after 20 minutes, getting mad at me for being outside where they normally drive, all sorts of weird shit... Weird awkward political conversations... Also it really irks me that when I use Uber, I normally see an ETA on the app of something like 3 minutes. Guaranteed, it will take at least 10 every single fucking time.
An Uber driver almost made me late for a medical procedure recently. I had an hour and a half to get there, it was a 50 minute drive. They took a bizarre route that was bonkers traffic, an accident or something. I said nothing, but the whole time my phone and their GPS was telling them not to go that way. They were just maximizing their fare. Instead of being half an hour early I was like 2 minutes late.