this post was submitted on 07 Dec 2023
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Disclaimer: Your experience is your own and I am not trying to tell anyone how to feel by sharing my own here.
Feelings of shame around my attraction to women went away the second I came out as a trans lesbian. I don't have a lot of words to share which explain why I felt that shame - perhaps a fear of being creepy, or wanting to be with women but not wanting to be the "man" in the relationship - but that experience is a clue that I look back on post-coming-out as a sign that I wasn't cishet. Had I been equipped with the language and therapeutic resources to analyze that more closely, I may have come out sooner.