this post was submitted on 12 Dec 2023
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That's actually disgusting. Does he want it like this for some reason? Is there something in the past? Or is it just "penises will rape, that's what they do"?
I don't know how he puts up with it, but I do know why. He was alone since he was a teen, and now his wife and in-laws are his only family. His dream has always been having a family and community. He'll bend over backwards to please his in-laws. It's unfortunate they treat him like that, and while his wife is sweet, she's a pushover and doesn't stand up for him.
Why the in-laws are like that? I don't know.
Projection. Definitely projection. Makes me trust them a lot less & I'm scared for that little girl.
I can only speak for myself, but one of my problems is that since a kid I’ve been going along with people to avoid conflict.
What this means is that when someone else views me as dangerous or untrustworthy, I automatically play along and treat myself as dangerous.
It’s only been in the past few months that I’ve become aware of this and started shutting it down. I’m in my 42nd year right now.
It feels so much better to treat myself as the person I know myself to be. But these masks we put on in early childhood are easy to mistake for our own faces.