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How do I cope with my father hating me? (lemm.ee)

submitted 11 months ago by Cap@lemm.ee to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

59 comments fedilink hide all child comments

My father, who convinced me (16 m) at the time to move in with him instead of my mother when they moved. All 3 of the other siblings stayed with my mother. He then kicked me out the week I turned 18, a week into my senior year. Since then he stays in touch only to speak with his grandchildren (now going on 4 kids). I have never been anything but opportunistic and positive in our interactions. Regardless he still acts like I am a burden to talk too. Am now 37, and finally getting to the point I should accept it. I'm the complete opposite with my own children and can't comprehend how someone could treat their child like this. How do I cope? It eats at me. I will answer any questions in depth if it will help in understanding the situation.

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[–] tryptaminev@feddit.de 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

That does not make it a lazy comment. If someone asks what to do about being hungry the correc anwser is to eat. The fact that they cannot afford to buy food does not change anything about the fundamental truth that the only way to still hunger is to eat.

OP made it clear, that this has followed him for decades. It is highly unlikely, that someone can just offer him some silver bullet advice here, that solves his problem without doing the emotional work. And doing the emotional work in such a situation is best done with a professional person that has no personal stakes in the whole situation.

If OP will not find a therapist within a month it will not get better by waiting another year on trying random advice from the internet. The sooner he looks for a therapist the sooner help becomes available.

[–] cashews_best_nut@lemmy.world 0 points 11 months ago (2 children)

You see, you come close to getting it in your first paragraph.

Telling someone who's hungry and can't afford food - just eat.

Don't you see how callous that is? If a friend came to you and asked to talk would you just shout "speak to a therapist"?

It's lazy because it's one word and obvious. It's callous because it makes no attempt to help the person.

[–] tryptaminev@feddit.de 4 points 11 months ago

The solution to hunger remains to eat. The question how to procure food is then the follow up. But OP didnt ask that. He asked how to still the hunger.

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 2 points 11 months ago

I told my pharmacist that I had been feeling low energy and lethargic ever since starting adderall and asked if she had any suggestions. She said I needed to eat more food, and suggested I use MyFitnessPal to track my calories and make sure I was getting enough.