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this post was submitted on 14 Dec 2023
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Somewhat related, but I learned today that Phil Shea who worked as the prop master on the office, died by suicide earlier this week, he was 62. He had a family and friends who loved him, but clearly wasn't speaking to anyone about what was really going on in his head. Older guys tend to be more closed up about speaking up
Cuz society mocks and looks down upon men who open up and talk. There's very little room for error being a man.
Every time I've opened up it's been ignored at best and ridiculed at worst. I just stopped.
Thankfully I have a spouse I can open up to 100% with and will make me feel heard and supported. When I'm at a boiling point, she's good at helping me to ease up. If it wasn't for her though, my mental health would be in the gutter.
Yeah I know the feeling.
Thankfully this is changing... I see a clear divide in attitudes in my workplace between the boomers nearing retirement, and the new kids (Gen Z) that are coming in fresh out of college. And all I can say is: good riddance. Boomers are fucking toxic, but the Gen Z kids see right through that bullshit.
"But this generation is different!"
Give me a break.
As an old guy (well old enough) I understand the sentiment. We are the providers, the protectors, the ones that aren’t supposed to show weaknesses or vulnerabilities. As an older gen x’er we weren’t taught how to talk about our feelings. It can be tough for sure.
For those who don't know, this is the other end of the toxic masculinity spectrum - the cultural idea that there is a certain way men are supposed to act, and we're perceived as weak or effeminate if we don't. We don't allow (or aren't allowed to) ourselves to express our emotions in a healthy way, so we bottle them up until the stress either kills us, or we kill ourselves.
Oh shit actually a name I've heard that means something to me. That's no fun news :(