Ask Lemmygrad

I would be in favour of a three-state solution to respect the historical claims of both the Romans, the Saxons, and the Normans, with demilitarised zones under UN control at the Scottish and Welsh border. London is to be divided into three corresponding sectors. The Isle of Man should be ceded to the Republic of Ireland, and the Isle of Wight, along with the other channel islands, will be leased to the People's Republic of China for 99 years, to then assume self-governance. The public is to undergo a program of deanglification including the use of the metric system, the study of Gaelic, and a drinking ban in all football games. It will be illegal to sell food that contains less than three distinct spices. The Royal Family shall be executed in a revolutionary tribunal, and pound notes shall not remain legal tender unless the eyes on the monarch's face are crossed out with indelible ink. Westminster palace will be dismantled and become part of a permanent exhibition in the national museum in Baghdad.