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What is the most unhelpful advice you have received? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 year ago by axolittl@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

260 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I'll go first: "You have to have children when you're young," told to me when I was in my late 20s, with no desire to ever have kids, and no means to support them, by someone divorced multiple times with at least one adult child who does not speak to them.

Also: Responding to "How do I deal with this problem?" questions with "Oh, don't worry about it, it's enough that you're even thinking about it!"

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[–] Ragerist@lemmy.world 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)

"You need to love yourself, before you can love someone else"

[–] DrQuint@lemmy.world 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I mean, good advice if it's for someone who's prone to build codependent relationships. Which still, no one but a professional therapist should be diagnosing.

[–] Ragerist@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

But It's in no way helpful advice to someone who is lonely or otherwise struggling. It's almost along the lines of "why don't you just cheer up".

Helpful advice would be something along the lines "I understand you are struggling, maybe it would be a good idea to check out therapy"

[–] Summzashi@lemmy.one 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

That doesn't really say much though. "Never use cement to fill a pillow" is also crappy advice for someone that feels lonely but can be considered very good advice for someone thats considering filling their pillow with cement.

[–] ZombieTheZombieCat@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

What

[–] Summzashi@lemmy.one -1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

What part do you not understand my friend?

[–] NikkiNikkiNikki@kbin.social 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The cement thing probably, I haven't heard that one before either

[–] Summzashi@lemmy.one -1 points 1 year ago

Well I'm glad. Now you will not fill your pillow with cement. I guarantee you it will not become a more comfortable pillow if you fill it with cement.

[–] JungleJim@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 year ago

I think it can be helpful as a first sentence, but it needs more. "By loving yourself, I mean treat yourself better. Get a style and work it. Work out occasionally. Eat better. Find a hobby. Find another. If you want somebody else to love you, you have to first take care of yourself or nobody will think you could take care of them. Secondly, you have to make yourself into a person that's interesting because anybody can be nice. You need more than nice. Third, having a life is how you meet people, and you gotta meet 'em before you can ask 'em out. That's why you have to love yourself first."