Asklemmy

43940 readers

704 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
!lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 5 years ago

MODERATORS

488

What is the most unhelpful advice you have received? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 year ago by axolittl@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

260 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I'll go first: "You have to have children when you're young," told to me when I was in my late 20s, with no desire to ever have kids, and no means to support them, by someone divorced multiple times with at least one adult child who does not speak to them.

Also: Responding to "How do I deal with this problem?" questions with "Oh, don't worry about it, it's enough that you're even thinking about it!"

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] NotYourSocialWorker@feddit.nu 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Oh yes, such as "just form good habits"...
Sorry, I'm incapable of making habits.

Or "think how good it will feel when you're done".
Sorry, best I can do is feel enough anxiety over not having done the thing that it will outweigh the anxiety I feel regarding doing the thing".

It's such a joy sometimes...

[–] JungleJim@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The double-edged anxiety for any given responsibility thing is an ADHD thing? Ah heck.

[–] NotYourSocialWorker@feddit.nu 4 points 1 year ago

Yepp, or at least a subgroup of it and/or autism.

And if you're really "lucky" it turns into PDA, "pathological demand avoidance" or as I prefer to call it "pervasive drive for autonomy". Worst case you enter fight or flight mode due to any demands on you. My feeling is that it's a understandable reaction to the feelings of anxiety demands have pushed on you over the years.