Mine goes as follows.

Them: Hello I’m looking for…

Me: Mmmmmmmmm fuck yeah god damn your dick smells so fucking hot.

Them: Excuse me sir???

Me: I said your dick smells fucking hot. You wanna meet up later and get tongue deep in each others ass holes.

Them: :click:

I don’t get many scam calls or bill collectors anymore. The trick is that you ONLY do it when they call you. In other words don’t call them and harass them. If it’s a legit company it might even be illegal for that company to make their employees call someone that sexually harasses their employees. Also if it’s a woman i usually describe the smell of the genitalia. Otherwise it’s the same.

A lot of Indian dudes are homophobic as hell. To add to the awkwardness of the conversation I lower my voice to make it real deep. Then I say each word slowly and breathy. That way I know they hear me and each word kind of hangs there for a second.