this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2023
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ADHD

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A casual community for people with ADHD

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@NomedaBarbarian on Twitter:

Thinking about how I've been lied to as an #ADHD person about what habits are.

That apparently is not what neurotypical folks get to experience.

Habits are things that they do without thinking.

They don't have to decide to do them. They don't have to remember to do them. Things just happen, automatically, because they've done them enough for that system to engage and make them automatic.

That system...which I lack.

Every single time I have brushed my teeth, it's been an active choice. I've had to devote thought and attention to it. It's not a routine, it's not a habit, it's something that I know is good to do, and hopefully I can remember to do it.

Every single time I exercise, or floss, or pay my rent, or drink water, or say "bless you" when someone sneezes,

It's because I've had to actively and consciously engage the protocol.

It never gets easier.

Just more familiar.

It's part of my struggle with my weight--exercise never becomes a habit, and every single time I do it, it is exactly as hard as the first time. It takes exactly as much willpower & thought.

I got lied to about how it would just "turn into a habit". And blamed, when it didn't.

Drinking water isn't a habit. Feeding myself isn't a habit. Bathing isn't a habit.

I spend so much more energy, so much more time, so much more labor on just managing to maintain my fucking meat suit.

And now you want me to ALSO do taxes?

ON TIME?

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[–] yogo@lemm.ee -2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Habits are pretty much definitionally subconscious, so this person is most likely describing poor habits rather than an entirely different type of habits. I wouldn’t be surprised if habit formation is significantly more challenging with ADHD, though.

[–] blueskiesoc@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

No, not poor habits. I have ADHD and--like the author of the tweets-- it takes mental energy to do many things that I think most people don't think twice about. Saying someone has poor habits, saying someone is disorganized, saying someone needs to stop being lazy...I'm just over it. I'm not mad at you, and I wouldn't expect you to care if I was, but I don't think you realize what an executive function disorder does to a person and being blamed for things that are harder for us is the reason anxiety and depression are so prevalent in people with ADHD.

[–] bouh@lemmy.world -2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

But anxiety and depression can provoke the symptoms described in OP. In this specific case, the cause is backward.

Probably adhd will lead to more anxiety and depression, but many other things do. And many people, if not most, will live what's described by op.

[–] Aylex@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"In this specific case, the cause is backward."

You have absolutely no way of knowing this, and it's an incredibly irresponsible claim to throw out there.

In women especially, ADHD will overwhelmingly be misdiagnosed as depression and anxiety. Treating the ADHD removes the need for antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds.

[–] bouh@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

And I never said you needed to treat depression instead of adhd. But whatever.