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How do you accept the things you cannot change? (feddit.de)

submitted 10 months ago by lompedtfre@feddit.de to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

34 comments fedilink hide all child comments

trying to stop being so thin skinned:

I had an online discussion with a random, we had a short but intense exchange until he replied and then blocked me, robbing me of a chance to reply.

I feel hurt because I couldn't reply. To me that means he won. I feel insulted and angry.

Yes, this is something I should talk to about with a shrink, but the therapist I contacted hasn't replied yet, so I might have to start looking for a new one if this one ain't reliable.

In the meantime I turn to the second best thing I can think of: this channel.

I can try to rationalize it: I cannot change it, I'm letting that guy live free in my mind, letting it go is the rational thing to do.

Except that here I'm not being rational, but emotional and I don't know why this triggers me so much.

Not having the last word triggers me. How would you solve this?

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[–] apotheotic@beehaw.org 6 points 10 months ago

There's actually an astonishing amount of good advice for this type of issue in the last thread you posted - and I note you haven't particularly engaged in discussion there.

As for this, it's not an issue of thin skin, and people who would tell you to get a thicker skin are generally not worth your time.

Figuring out why you feel the way you feel is a great first step to creating plans to change what you can change, and mitigating the core issue. Spend time with your thoughts and just "be mindful". We are biological machines, whenever your body has extreme reactions to things, it's trying to tell you something. You need to learn to figure out what it's telling you, so you can give it what it needs :)

Good luck.