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How do you accept the things you cannot change? (feddit.de)

submitted 10 months ago by lompedtfre@feddit.de to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

34 comments fedilink hide all child comments

trying to stop being so thin skinned:

I had an online discussion with a random, we had a short but intense exchange until he replied and then blocked me, robbing me of a chance to reply.

I feel hurt because I couldn't reply. To me that means he won. I feel insulted and angry.

Yes, this is something I should talk to about with a shrink, but the therapist I contacted hasn't replied yet, so I might have to start looking for a new one if this one ain't reliable.

In the meantime I turn to the second best thing I can think of: this channel.

I can try to rationalize it: I cannot change it, I'm letting that guy live free in my mind, letting it go is the rational thing to do.

Except that here I'm not being rational, but emotional and I don't know why this triggers me so much.

Not having the last word triggers me. How would you solve this?

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[–] Rentlar@lemmy.ca 14 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Take a deep breath. In these 5 seconds you might feel very upset at this user, and if it's something that really triggers you it might ruin your next 5 minutes or 5 hours.

In 5 days, will you really care about whatever this user had to say that got you upset? Not really right? Let alone in your next 5 weeks, months or years, this will fade to nothing but a mere trifling squabble. You have better things in life to think and be excited about and worse things in life to worry over.

My advice for something you recognize making you irrationally upset, is try to transport the "How you feel about it in 5 days" into your present mindset so that will give you better perspective.