Asklemmy

43901 readers

1138 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
!lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 5 years ago

MODERATORS

How do you accept the things you cannot change? (feddit.de)

submitted 10 months ago by lompedtfre@feddit.de to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

34 comments fedilink hide all child comments

trying to stop being so thin skinned:

I had an online discussion with a random, we had a short but intense exchange until he replied and then blocked me, robbing me of a chance to reply.

I feel hurt because I couldn't reply. To me that means he won. I feel insulted and angry.

Yes, this is something I should talk to about with a shrink, but the therapist I contacted hasn't replied yet, so I might have to start looking for a new one if this one ain't reliable.

In the meantime I turn to the second best thing I can think of: this channel.

I can try to rationalize it: I cannot change it, I'm letting that guy live free in my mind, letting it go is the rational thing to do.

Except that here I'm not being rational, but emotional and I don't know why this triggers me so much.

Not having the last word triggers me. How would you solve this?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] rufus@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

I mean three days before you asked a very similar question on how to develop a thicker skin and you got lots of answers, some very long and detailed. I think I didn't reply because I've answered that question several times before, pointed to the ancient greek philosophers, stoicism and how to pay attention to the small things around you and focus on positivity and not waste your energy on negativity. That's generally good advice, but not tailored to your individual situation.

I'm not sure why you ask the same question again. Maybe the answers didn't help you. Or it's just me who thinks it's the same question again but for you this is a different take on a similar topic.

Since you didn't engage in the previous discussion, I thought I'd ask you a direct question. I mean you could just be venting and running through the 5 stages of grief or something. Anyways, I think it's a valid question and you should be able to live a happy life.

How did the thing with the failed appointment turn out? Did you get an apology?