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this post was submitted on 17 Feb 2024
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Why do you feel like hooking up means not taking into consideration other people's feelings or who might get hurt in the process?
Every time I've hooked up there was either a spoken or implicitly obvious unspoken understanding of the situation, e.g. the other person was in an open relationship
The mindset to hook up with as many people as possible just for the sake of bodycount could/would be toxic, but that's rarely the situation, people just enjoy casual sex
The problems begin where communication ends (or expectations outgrow the communication, but that's on the expectee)
The act of hooking up reduces other people to sex objects to satisfy’s one needs. One is not trying to make a connection with other humans by hooking up or trying to make a community by hooking up. One is only trying to get rid of sexual urges and seeing other individuals as a medium for that. As another comment mentioned that is atomization and individualistic.
I mean. It kind of feels like you're trying to invalidate the feeling of being desired as something that is valid. In the proper context, aka consent, being desired by another person is actually fun.
I'm not surprised to see this. It's also something I encountered in real life with someone. I just think it's a weird hangup. Like, very short term relationships are still relationships with obligations. I bought a homeless person some food on the street. I did not owe that homeless person anything but I had compassion and care for that person. Same thing for a hookup. Just because it's just sex doesn't mean I'm going treat them as disposable. I think it is itself individualistic to think as something that is short term as disposable and not something that still requires care and compassion.