37
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
this post was submitted on 17 Feb 2024
37 points (100.0% liked)
Ask Lemmygrad
799 readers
107 users here now
A place to ask questions of Lemmygrad's best and brightest
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Please don't paint all of us non-Americans as creeps. To get weirded out if you are casually walking down the street and a friend of yours by your side tells you "I'd totally bang that one" when a random woman that none of you two has ever seen before passes by is not to be a puritan: it's to be a normal human being with a minimum sense of what is socially appropriate and what it isn't.
I don't understand whats creepy about it. is it socially inappropriate because you're talking about sex or inappropriate because you're talking about being attracted to someone?
It’s objectification. You are reducing another human being into an object whose only characteristic is whether or not you’d fuck them.
Commenting on someone’s fashion choices, how they’ve styled their hair, how they’ve chosen to present themselves, etc is normally not objectifying, as those are choices that person made. Saying, “that person is pretty/handsome/beautiful” is closer to objectifying but is more dependent on the rest of the context. But saying “I’d fuck her” is objectification.
This isn’t Puritanism, it’s about seeing other human beings as human beings and not a hole to fuck.
part of being a human being is having a physical body which will have features people like and another part of being a human being is having a libido and being interested in other people. the hard barrier you make going from "that person is pretty" (we can rephrase this to be "that person has overall features I consider attractive and possibly I find myself attracted to them") and "I'd fuck her" (that person has overall features I consider attractive and I find myself so attracted to them to the point I would have sex with them if given the opportunity) is in fact not a line going from not objectifiying to objectifiying but a natural continuation of the feeling and logic. the only real difference is the level of respect being given since "I'd fuck her" is a much less respectful phrase and the fact sex is being talked about which is why this ties into "puritan culture"
In my experience, the wording is not "I am attracted to this person", it is rather done in a more degrading way. It is ok to say to your friend, that you are attracted to someone. But it can get quite annoying if a person starts rating every other person. I can somehow understand this behaviour if someone is experiencing puberty. Hormones are a hell of a thing.
It gets far more inappropriate if it is done in a political context. Likey being part of an organisation/party and some comrades are behaving like they are on Tinder.
Op should simply tell their friends, that they should stop doing it if it is a problem.