this post was submitted on 23 Feb 2024
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[–] FireRetardant@lemmy.world 41 points 8 months ago (2 children)

I'm not sure I'd agree that a relationship with so much uncertaintly is that wholesome. I know I'd lose sleep if my partner kept telling me this is just a for now thing but still expected commitment.

[–] Chefdano3@lemm.ee 25 points 8 months ago

You've missed the point. There's no expected commitment, they are both of the same mind. They both feel like it would be ok if it doesn't last. It's because they share the same feelings that they continue to work well together, and the relationship lasts.

This is basically how me and my girlfriend's relationship started off. No pressure, if it's not working we'll call it off and go back to being just friends.

We've been together for 15 some odd years, and we have 2 kids.

[–] dustyData@lemmy.world 8 points 8 months ago (1 children)

You really think this is more stressful than “we have to be together forever, unconditionally”. Forever is a long time. I'd take this over unhappy marriages that fight, bicker and argue all day everyday, hate each other's guts and sleep on separate rooms out of spite for 15 out of the past 20 years. But are still together because of social norms and pressures.

This on the other hand is liberating and loving company. Nothing makes me feel more secure and confident than someone who can use that second to last line confidently “I would be fine on my own, but I'm better with you” it tells you clearly that this person is with you because they want to. Everything else in romantic manipulative BS.

[–] FireRetardant@lemmy.world 4 points 8 months ago (1 children)

"I want to be with you forever" makes me feel a lot more secure, comfortable and hopeful than "when this isn't fun anymore I'm off".

Everyone knows that "be with you forever" is a feeling, not a fact but it gives me a good idea of where my partner is in the relationship. My partner saying "once it isnt fun I'm out" makes me feel like I'm just a hobby, not a partner.

[–] dustyData@lemmy.world 0 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

“be with you forever“ is a feeling

Yeah, it's called obsession. Romantic love is very toxic, but it's ideologically enforced into people at a very young age. Asking toddlers to confess to adults whom they like and with whom they want to marry when they grow up and similar performative acts, for example. The characters in the comic are acknowledging their humanity, instead of denying themselves with a pretension of immortality or infinitude to their human feelings. Lots of people who say “I will be with you forever” end up cheating or abandoning their partners anyways. Humans are neither immortal nor infinite, it's immature and irresponsible to promise either.

Not to invalidate or guess how you think or feel, but that negative interpretation oozes insecurity and fear.

Or in the words of Oscar Wilde: “When one is in love, one always begins by deceiving one’s self, and one always ends by deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance.” Romantic love is lying.