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Consider why you made the statement that former members distance themselves and that church members just want to be friends. You haven't actually experienced or seen that right? So what made you assume that is what is going on?
One of the more difficult parts about being a former member is the assumptions about why we left. Obviously, everyone is unique, but rarely have I heard an active member actually say the reasons I've most heard from my family and friends and online that have left.
It would be a bit like me spouting off the lies from an evangelical anti-mormon tract as if they were fact.
To be clear, I really do appreciate that you are being open and honest here. I'm not trying to be a dick or to deconvert you. I'm mostly just pushing for understanding of people that have different views from you. After all, to the root of this conversation and why I'm so against trump, it's that the politics he represents is ultimately that of intolerance. The best way to fight intolerance is to foster understanding.