this post was submitted on 18 Mar 2024
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It took me years to break that habit. I also worked really hard not to use the r word to mean I think something is fucking stupid.
It was common to use both of those when I was a kid. It didn't occur to me at the time that it might hurt someone (again, stupid kid). I've still caught myself using the r word on a rare occasion but I can keep trying.
I used to say it, cause it was my environment in a very lgbtphobic area around lgbtphobic people to fit in, stopped saying it cause I don't want to spread hate, and started using it again, cause it is my environment in a very gay friend group and gay girlfriend cause it feels funny and good to reclaim it.
I get exactly what you're saying. I'm a hetero dude but I'm around a lot of LGBTQ folks, many of whom are my friends. If something is literally homosexual (like my friend kissing her girlfriend or someone wearing a T-shirt with a homosexual themed graphic) I'll still say "That's gay!" There's at least a couple of people who use the phrase to mean that certain things are awesome.
Exactly! We also like to poke fun at it ever being a "bad" thing. One of our running gags with each other, my partner and I, is to respond to something/event by saying "I think I might be gay" and the other one of us will feign horror.