this post was submitted on 21 Mar 2024
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This comment section: "Actually I'm pretty sure the bike fell over for reasons unrelated to the stick"

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[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 5 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Nobody is telling men what to actually do to be a lovable person. Just what not to do.

[–] sharon@lemmy.world 6 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

Woman here. (Sorry, don't typically announce my gender, but relevant to the comment if someone else reads it.)

Tbh I wish the conversation were more positive. I ain't no expert cuz I'm struggling with my own advice, but I'd recommend: Try to get a decent job, work on your mental health, take care of yourself, build friendships, try to get in a decent place financially, and maintain a healthy schedule, environment, and diet. Be the kind of person you'd want to date. And treat women like men for the most part. Most people I know in relationships met at work, school, church, dating apps, or through friends / common interests.

But the reason I'm not on the dating market myself is cuz I'm a mess of a human being who doesn't want to be trapped in a codependent relationship. Dating doesn't sound appealing at all when I have so many problems I need to work through first. I've seen what happens when people try to fix their problems with relationships; it usually results in more problems.

Best of luck. Sorry things are rough.

[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Best of luck. Sorry things are rough.

Thank you, sorry if I gave off the wrong impression. I actually said it as I was previously in a situation where I was, but I started focusing on myself (taking advice similar to yours) and it actually does help! Previously I was flat out scared of talking to women. I thought even looking at someone could be creepy/harassing.

Turns out just talking to someone and then asking if they'd like to go out for food or something in a respectful manner after a conversation isn't creepy and actually seems to invoke a positive reaction from them sometimes? Who would have known!

[–] sharon@lemmy.world 3 points 8 months ago

Oh, glad to hear it!

[–] chakan2@lemmy.world 1 points 8 months ago

Lol...welcome to interacting with women. It's all subjective and not objective...hell even the subjective measures of success are conflicting.

(Jokes aside, I like that comment a lot. Very astute)