this post was submitted on 28 Apr 2024
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I think one of the most surprisingly venomous reactions I ever got personally was on "the other site" for destiny 2. I made some suggestions that basically were "allow people to hide t-bagging, here's how it could work, and also allow people to disable emotes on their client."
I'm an anti-fun Nazi cry baby evidently that just isn't on their level and can't take the heat. I just don't get their amazing side game of getting up in my head. I have no business playing a "competitive" game, taunts and being rude are "just part of the game." Their fun depends on other people being angry and any suggestion that their taunts might be disabled/the other person doesn't see their taunting is going to ruin the game.
I was mostly posting that because a friend kept getting ticked every time I tried to get him into destiny PVP. So of course they attacked me as if "my friend" is imaginary.
The best part was when the mods removed the post for "not having enough to do with Destiny 2" because I bothered to make reference to I think it was what other games were doing or something like that.
Madness to me. Absolute madness.
"I can't have fun unless it's ruining someone's day somewhere" is a depressingly common outlook on life.
You don't deserve to be downvoted for that and I think the option you describe might be a cool idea, but I don't think the goal of t-bagging is neccesarily to make you rage irl, I for one certainly don't see it as rude unless it's excessive, i see it as an invitation to a rivalry and would be sad to see that culture go away. It might be worth you or your friend to introspect on why that behaviour makes you feel the way it does.
There are multiple takes on this, ranging from “tea bagging is fine” to “tea bagging is sexual assault” - see https://gamerant.com/teabagging-sexual-assault-controversy-explained/ for a rundown. I fail to see how allowing people to opt out of it would destroy any form of culture.
TBH I think seeing it as not at all rude makes you the exception. It’s clearly intended to be rude, to put your opponent on tilt, and most gamers get that.
I guess I find it hard to believe that 90% of the people in my games are ragaholics, including the people I'm joking around with in all chat. That just seems implausible, but maybe the cultural difference is that I mostly play as a stack against people in a stack, which means they are guaranteed na certain amount of social skills.
I don't really think the onus is on us.
A lot of multiplayer games have become very toxic, tons of cheaters (okay I don't actually believe this but it's a very common perception; I mostly blame smurfing and bad MMR systems), rude people, etc. It can transform a fun evening into dealing with "TotallyNotANazi" and his buddy "TotallyNotARapist" calling you names, t-bagging your bodies, screaming obscenities, and in some cases, likely using cheats, to make nearly impossible shots.
The other fun one (that's not quite as bad) is when you've been having a clean match with someone, you're clearly winning, you haven't been rude to them at all, then they get one kill on you and it's time to run up a t-bag and get on the microphones or text chat about how you're shit at the game.
The better strategy would be to improve moderation and kick these people out of the games. However, multiplayer gaming has moved from server owners that can ban bad actors to "someone at the studio has to do it" (and frankly, the studios are not holding trolls, jerks, and cheaters accountable).
Games like CSGO have added options like hiding usernames, hiding profile pictures, etc. I just see this as part of cleaning up the rest of it. If you're not going to moderate the multiplayer game to get rid of the most unruly jerks in your community, there should be options for "I don't want to see their nonsense."
Personally, I play shooters to relax, not to be some jerk-wad's punching bag. I don't really mind it if the enemy team is joking around and just being playful about it, but some people are clearly out to just put people down and I don't think they should be the priority; I think they actively keep some spaces of gaming as this cringe elitist thing a lot of people just don't want to interact with.
To me the problem seems to the racism and shittalking that you have attached to all your examples, not the tbagging itself. I totally agree, harassment has no place in any game.
Part of having fun in a competitive (as in pvp) experience is goading and being goaded, that's what creates memorable experiences. Friendly rivalry can be very rewarding. They got one over on you this time, and took a risk to celebrate it, next round you can take a risk to target them, and maybe celebrate as well.
So why not go after the problematic behaviour directly rather than the behaviour that is sometimes playful.
I think it's pretty offensive personally. Especially the name, once I looked up the etymology. Pretty crude IMO.