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How should I change my polite behavior to be more accommodating? (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 7 months ago by clay_pidgin@sh.itjust.works to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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My parents raised me to always say "yes sir" and "no ma'am", and I automatically say it to service workers and just about anyone with whom I'm not close that I interact with. I noticed recently that I had misgendered a cashier when saying something like "no thank you, ma'am" based on their appearing AFAB, but on a future visit to the store they had added their pronouns (they) to their name tag. I would feel bad if their interaction with me was something they will remember when feeling down. This particular person has a fairly androgynous haircut/look and wears a store uniform, so there's no gender clue there.

I am thinking I need to just stop saying "sir" and "ma'am" altogether, but I like the politeness and I don't know how I would replace it in a gender-neutral way. Is there anything better than just dropping it entirely?

For background I'm a millennial and more than happy to use people's correct pronouns if I know them!

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[–] Ciel@lemmygrad.ml 2 points 7 months ago (1 children)

rare german w, our honorific form is gender neutral! (kinda its a little more complex, but its easy to use in a gender neutral way) (the rest of our language isn't though, just the honorifics are)

[–] janNatan@lemmy.ml 1 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Wait, what's the gender neutralish German honorific?

[–] tetris11@lemmy.ml 1 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I think they mean "Sie", which later for decapitalised as "sie" for female

[–] janNatan@lemmy.ml 2 points 7 months ago

Oh! I was thinking maybe "geerhte" but that makes way more sense. Duh.