this post was submitted on 03 May 2024
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I have a friend who did the same at that age. 10 years later, he and his partner have decided they want kids.
I’m glad that you are happy and sincerely hope that you and your future partners remain happy with this choice for the rest of your life.
For others of your age who might be considering the same, I must say that I do generally discourage making permanent life choices before full frontal lobe development. That is a tome of your life where you’re going through an incredible amount of change, your values and what you want in life might not be the at 21 and 26.
The whole "25 y/o brain fully developed" thing is not something you should be putting much weight in, for what it's worth. https://slate.com/technology/2022/11/brain-development-25-year-old-mature-myth.html
Honestly I don't think I was there until my 30s
I think you might be missing the point of the article. I didn’t use a specific number because people are all different and develop differently. It’s generally around the mid to late 20s that most humans brains are fully developed.
You may not understand how insulting and condescending your comment is.
Just because breeding is the default, you shouldn't be proselytizing against sterilization.
I think you may have misunderstood some of what they were getting at.
To make a bad equivalency: would you have any reservations with someone younger than 18 choosing to have a vasectomy/tubes tied? What about 16? 13?
At some point we are going to agree that making that permanent¹ life choice isn't a good idea as they just simply aren't mature enough.
What the person you're responding to is trying to get at, I think, is that many of these preferences or desires can easily change in your formative years as a young adult (18-25 for full frontal lobe development, I believe).
¹I am aware that vasectomies and tubal ligations can be reversed, but that's not something you would want to be relying on with these choices. Similar to how you don't plan to be able to have a tattoo removed a few years down the line when you decide you don't like it.
Do you think it's appropriate to become pregnant before age 26?
They don't have the legal capacity to decide it, so the question is moot.
No, it's just a question of legality. With your criteria, young trans people would be unable to decide that they need to start a soft transition because they're not "mature enough".
So? If it's that important for them, they can reverse it, and if not, and it's really that important, they can adopt. But less population is a net positive in general. One person is not going to change the general trend anyway.
There's a lot more that goes into starting to transition than a trip to the clinic with $800 in your pocket.
My criteria would entirely allow for early "soft" transitions as you call them. Hormone therapy is significantly less invasive than any type of surgery you could undergo, as well as being similarly "reversible" like a vasectomy. I would have a similar stance to a child making a monumental choice to fully transition. Beginning on the path of a transition is much different than leaping to the final step.
My concerns typically would lie in the sense of manufactured risk when lower risk options are readily available and effective. Condoms are inexpensive, especially when you're comparing to a surgical procedure. Condoms have a reasonably good efficacy when properly used, and is increased significantly when used alongside other contraceptives (not to mention the additional benefits of lowering risk of STIs/STDs).
And just as an added question for you, if these surgeries were not reversible at all, would your views on this change?
We can leave the question of legality vs morality of the subject to the side.
What "risk" are you talking about for a vasectomy? It's an ambulatory procedure. Care to explain?
You are grossly underestimating the need for most truly convinced childfree people to reduce the probability as close as possible to an absolute zero. Not even vasectomy reaches that, but it's very close.
No. Less children raised by unprepared parents is always a good idea.
I am sterilized, child free, and had the procedure around age 30.
Think what they are trying to say is why making a serious commitment like this when you can use readily available over the counter solutions like condoms.
Which I agree with. But I don't condemn anyone here - you do you 😃
If wrongly used, the probability of conception exceeds 20%.
A well done vasectomy reduces the probability to near 0%.
No comparison.
"If wrongly used"
Which it's known to be the case for most people.
Wasnt really trying to make a point here because as I said - you do you/do what works for you but
https://www.nhs.uk/contraception/choosing-contraception/how-well-it-works-at-preventing-pregnancy/
Its like an actual statistic - not "From what I heard"
And where are the numbers about how many people use it wrong?
And again, you don't seem to understand that even 2% is too fucking high. The objective is zero. Are you able to understand that?
Do you think it's appropriate to become pregnant before age 26?
Maybe stop trying to attach a number to it, whether or not to have kids is going to be a very personal thing. Instead of "should someone have kids at 21,18,27,30" or whatever
People should be asking themselves the following questions:
Some people are going to be able check all the boxes at 18/19 some aren't going to be able to until 21 or 30 or maybe even never.
Everyone is going to have to decide for themselves and stop the whole "you shouldn't have kids at X! but not past Y!" Nonsense.
The sole exception is if you're under 18, and that's mostly because you need to finish high school at a bare minimum without distractions otherwise question 4 is going to be a long hard road. Even then the exception has an exception, if you have a well off support network (like wealthy parents)
Like the article posted by the other commenter, you can be mature and ready and wildly varying ages, 25 is a pop culture myth
I'd add:
If you're not, you're contributing to the world going to hell in a hand basket, and you shouldn't procreate.
I sure don’t!
That qualifies as a permanent life decision before full frontal love development has taken place.
It's not a permanent life choice. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vasectomy_reversal
While technically true, the massive financial barrier (at least in the US) can make it feel that way.
A successful reversal is not guaranteed and comes with a higher risk of complications.
In light of that, when you get a vasectomy your doctor will tell you to consider it as potentially permanent.