this post was submitted on 05 May 2024
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Showerthoughts
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Dating apps are a fucking shit show.
I was on Tinder, Bumble and Hinge for the last 6 months.
I was genuinely trying to put my best foot forward, be kind, genuine and actually wanted to meet someone. I'm kinda sick of being single after breaking up from a long term relationship last year.
I tried every strategy and technique.
More info on my profile / Less info on my profile. More group pics/ more pics of just me. Being funnier / being more sincere.
I even paid for Tinder plus and Bumble plus.
Did I get a single date from any of these apps? Nope. But I did get ghosted. Unmatched. Ignored. Etc etc countless fucking times.
It absolutely fucked my mental health. My brain is in a good place now after a long time with trying different medications and therapy etc. I like the person I am. I know I have a lot to offer in a relationship. But fuck if my self esteem and mental state didn't take a nosedive after being on these apps. Putting so much time and effort into presenting yourself as well as you can, putting best foot forward etc and getting zero interest back, it really makes you question who you are and even your value as person.
I fucking hate it.
So yeah, I'm still single. I don't see that changing any time soon.
For context btw, I'm 189cm / 6'2" tall, 100KG / 220lbs, healthy, active guy in my twenties. I'm in a comp sci college course. I drive, have an income, savings, go to the gym 4 times a week etc In other words, I tick enough boxes/ do all the things, that are supposed to help find a match on these apps. But even with all that said, 6 months and zero dates. I don't even know anymore. I deleted my accounts on these the other day and I advise others to do the same. The chances of you actually finding someone you like and have chemistry with is basically zero at this stage. Plus the enshitification is rife. They push the premium subscriptions so fucking hard but in the end, they don't help you find matches or dates. It's worth noting that Tinder wants to keep you on the app. You deleting it after finding love is bad for business as far as they are concerned. I just wish more people would realize this.
Anyway, sorry for the long post, thanks for coming to my Ted talk.
Food digging: When restaurants use fake dating profiles to get customers through the door
I agree. My mental health takes huge nose dives when I use dating apps. I've had great experience IRL and even use friends and their partners sometimes to curate messages so that I know I'm not fucking up. My longest streak was 16 dates consecutively of being stood up. Each was a different woman, no repeat dates or responses after being stood up. Man does it blow. The rejection just happens so frequently and in rapid succession that I can't stand it.
I also tick a lot of boxes that people present on those apps but for whatever reason my luck is pretty piss. Usually if I actually manage a date we end up at least seeing each other for some time but getting to that point seems nigh impossible through the apps
Thanks for sharing your experience!! I really appreciate the long genuine post. There's a lot everyone can learn from your experience.