this post was submitted on 07 May 2024
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Needs a punchline. That last panel is completely pointless and wastes a good setup imo.
I agree, the only thing I would add is swap the two. That way the buffoon is technically in a worse position.
I think that's a very generous read, and I just don't see it. The first three panels are well done, but the last adds nothing. It's like someone ending a Little Johnny joke with "and then the teacher sent him to the principal's office" instead of with whatever dirty thing Johnny said that was supposed to be the actual punchline.
Lol, I never suggested anything about the author’s writing process and I certainly never even implied that I thought you were a dumbass, which I don't. But now I'm not convinced you're not the actual cartoonist, since you seem to have intimate knowledge of their creation process and their recreational habits. It's not a "character study"—you would need characters for that—it's a setup with no punchline, it's half a joke. Actually, it's worse, it's a joke with a decent punchline, followed by a whole extra panel that just restates what the reader already learned in the previous panel with the actual punchline, making me feel like the author thinks I'm a dumbass.
Sorry I didn't read and respond to that wall of text, lol. All I'll say is, If you need 6 paragraphs to explain why it's a good joke, it's not a good joke.
But I'm not a dumbass right? Thank god
I think it's fine as it is. It's trading funny for poignanncy
Except the last panel isn't poignant either. Like I said, it's useless. It would be just as poignant without it, and if they had actually written a punchline, it could have been funny too.
You have a point, the last panel adds nothing. But for most readers it doesn't make it worse.
But it doesn't make it better for anyone, and it does make it worse for the rest of us, so...
How about "Welcome to reality"
"Don't worry! The money will trickle down!"
"fat bee"
I'll be them some day!
"Don't worry, I think he's gonna pull it!"