this post was submitted on 10 May 2024
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Edit: A few people have interpreted the title as serious, so I wanna clarify that it was meant as a sarcastic joke about how little sense the neurotypical world makes to me, but it is still legitimately me asking for help understanding said neurotypical world.

Was having a conversation with a friend today about why I seem unapproachable to people online. Apparently it's for 2 reasons.

One is that I say "K." all the time, as a short way of saying okay. She pointed out that most people find this rude and offensive. This kinda baffled me, because like why? She explained that like, if somebody were to give a long emotional speech and I just responded "K." that would be offensive. That confounds me. So it's rude in one context, and neurotypicals have decided to be offended by it in all contexts? But the reason it's rude is what confuses me more. Apparently it's considered lazy because you could have just typed out the word, but like, that applies to all text speech and nobody's mad about people shortening those words.

But it got more confusing when she explained the second reason, which is that I end all of my sentences with proper punctuation, which she said "makes people feel like I'm done with the conversation and not interested." But just a second ago improper grammar was rude, and now proper grammar is rude instead.

It baffles me. You can't just use proper or improper grammar. Use too much improper grammar and you're lazy and rude. Use too little and you're also rude. But you can't just use any improper grammar, you have to use the very specific subset of improper grammar that's been deemed acceptable and not lazy (even though it's exactly as lazy as what they do consider lazy.)

To be clear, I'm not bitter, and I'm definitely gonna adjust my behavior to hopefully seem a little less rude to people. I think that's just a nice thing to do. I just find the neurotypical mind utterly fascinating. I don't think they even realize how many contradictions exist in the social rules they all so easily accept.

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[–] dsemy@lemm.ee 8 points 6 months ago (2 children)

The “ending a sentence with a period” on the other hand? My answer would have been “Are you high?!” Seriously, it doesn’t make any sense and it sounds made up.

I used to find it rude when someone ended a text message (specifically on IM platforms) with a period, though ever since some older relatives started texting I got used to it. I can also remember at least one time I ended a text message with a period because I was angry. This is also something I've noticed other people do.

In a way, since a text message already has a definitive end point, ending it with a period feels redundant. To me, this makes a period at the end almost feel like a "weak" exclamation mark.

In general I've noticed people use as little punctuation as possible when texting, instead breaking up longer thoughts into multiple short texts to compensate.

[–] Sombyr@lemmy.zip 5 points 6 months ago (2 children)

I'd noticed the thing where people send repeated short messages, but I didn't realize that's why they were doing it. I think I'm gonna have to take a middle ground though and just leave the period off my last sentence while trying to stay concise. I can't stand being interrupted in the middle of a thought so I gotta get it all out in one message.

[–] AnalogyAddict@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago

I send out multiple messages way too often because I think of something I should have added after I've sent the text. But I also almost always use proper punctuation, with the exception of often throwing in too many commas.

[–] dsemy@lemm.ee 3 points 6 months ago

I think that's a good middle ground, I do this too sometimes when I don't want to be interrupted, or if I'm just sending someone some information without recent discussion.

I'd be surprised if anyone would find this rude.

[–] Kichae@lemmy.ca 5 points 6 months ago

Thing is, that knife cuts both ways, and some people find it rude when you don't use proper punctuation.

I would personally interpret the short burst thing as a tantrum, FWIW, or some other form of disregulation.