this post was submitted on 16 May 2024
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[–] EatATaco@lemm.ee 106 points 7 months ago (7 children)

I feel like "it is what it is" is too often shit on.

I had a boss from whom I learned about staying calm and keeping steady course.

His favorite saying was "it is what it is" and it was always in the context of simply recognizing the reality for what it is, instead of hoping or wishing it was something else or lamenting over how it should have gone a different way. Then, from the point of accepting that "it is what it is" we would focus on how to get to where we wanted to be.

Sure it can be used dismissively, but I feel like people always just dismiss it as a cliche when it's actually usually a very good philosophy.

[–] Glytch@lemmy.world 57 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

"Though-terminating" is not necessarily a negative thing.

Like how your boss used it: stop the train of anger and reframe the problem in a more constructive way.

It's still terminating a thought, it just wasn't a productive thought and needed terminating.

Edit: typo

[–] EatATaco@lemm.ee 15 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Good point, I didn't really consider that it could be used in a good way.

Although, in my defense, they are using the term cliche which usually has negative connotations.

[–] blanketswithsmallpox@lemmy.world 3 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

I mean even cliches are cliche right?

So many people just don't like negative connotation things because they just don't like their answer.

Arguing semantics is literally arguing about the definition of a word which is absolutely pivotal when determining stances on things. Arguing semantics is one of the most important things you can do when arguing. There is nothing negative about it.

Agree to disagree. It literally means you've gotten so far along in your debate that you've found that rhetorical lynch pin of an argument. It's where the true disagreement lies. And too many people also think there AREN'T black and white scenarios when you get to them. More often than not, it's because you've narrowed it down to A or B. There is NO other option.

You either think it's okay to destroy an embryo or fetus because you're more important than a long what if, or you think it's the same as murdering an 18 year old in cold blood.

You can slowly deprogram some people from those lynchpin scenarios. But it isn't going to happen when you find it.

People are not run on pure logic. More often than not they run on what they were born with reinforced through nurture. They need time to change strong thoughts and opinions they've held because they're strong for a reason.

[–] spittingimage@lemmy.world 10 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I had a boss who used to say the same thing. He was telling us "We didn't set this dumpster on fire, but somehow it's our job to handle it. No point bitching, so roll your sleeves up and get to it." I've started saying the same thing for the same reason.

[–] Klear@sh.itjust.works 2 points 7 months ago

Yeah, I have a voice in my head saying that. Not long ago I realised just doing stuff that needs to be done is much faster and less draining tgan figuring out how to get someone else to do it.

[–] TommySalami@lemmy.world 8 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

I agree with this. I use the phrase essentially as "this is the reality" to either set a baseline, or just a different way to say c'est la vie. It frustrates me when people say it's always a dismissive phrase, because when I am dissmive with it I'm not doing so in a negative way. There's something to be said about letting little inconveniences lie and fade away.

[–] EatATaco@lemm.ee 5 points 7 months ago

There’s something to be said about letting little inconveniences lie and fade away.

I absolutely agree. But to go a step further, there is a lot to be said for accepting things as they are. It's even a core tenant of buddhism.

[–] usernamefactory@lemmy.ca 5 points 7 months ago

I agree, but I prefer “you have to play the ball as it lies”. It’s a similar sentiment, but more active so it doesn’t lend itself as much to defeatist readings. We can’t change reality, this is the situation we find ourselves in, but yes, we will find a path forward regardless.

[–] Dasus@lemmy.world 4 points 7 months ago

when it's actually usually a very good philosophy.

Yeah, in an environment or situation where you literally have no agency.

But most times it's used in any sort of meaningful conversation about society for instance... then it's meant as a "thought-stopper".

i have a love hate relationship with that term.

It's very valuable in a certain sense, but it's also incredibly soul sucking if you live your entire life to that concept.