this post was submitted on 16 May 2024
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I had a girlfriend in my 20s that used to hook up with other girls. For some reason I never considered that cheating and never cared. No idea why it never bothered me.
Maybe polyamory is something for you
I’m in my early 40s with four kids now and that seems like way too much work lol. To be clear though, I definitely would have considered it cheating if she was with another dude. It was just with other women it wasn’t an issue at all for me.
in that case you may have some unrealized homophobia, causing you to not view queer interactions as fully valid compared to straight interactions
lol what? Not sure what you read but I said I had no problem with my girlfriend with other girls.
Furthermore I’ve hung out with tons of gay people. My brother was gay (died of fentanyl). Zero issues with whatever people want to do in their bedroom. None of my business anyway.
I think they mean some guys don't consider 2 women having sex to be "real sex" so they don't think it's cheating.
Oh, im really not that deep. I don’t spend much time worrying about what others are doing for sex or intimacy.
Some other user said it’s probably because I can’t compare myself to a girl, unlike another man, which is probably true.
Appreciate you explaining what they probably meant by that comment as I was extremely confused
Even in cases where it ends a relationship, there's something slightly less bad about a partner cheating on you with a gender different than your own. "What do they have that I don't have?? Oh, right, a vagina and boobs/a dick."
Yeah that probably has a lot to do with it now that you mention it.
Relationships are all different and unique. Something that's cheating to you may not be to this relationship, or vice versa. I'm a proponent of open relationships, with good communication - if we discuss it and there's no deception, it's not cheating.
I totally hear you there. No problem with whatever people want to do. Everyone should be able to pursuit their happiness if it isn’t causing others harm or distress. Live and let live.
Traditional relationship models are so weird.
Making up all these different definitions of “cheating” vs “emotional cheating” and distinguishing them from other instances of hurtfully not honoring agreements.
It's just that: people have an agreement with each other and one of them expressed that it's very important for them emotionally for the other to honor it. Then the other didn't. That expectedly hurts.
Why is there a special word when the agreement is about sex?
They aren't even "traditional" really. We didn't start pairing off in "lifelong partnerships," aka marriage, until a few thousand years ago. We spent hundreds of thousands of years existing in communal tribes.