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I don't get how you don't get it. I mean that with no animosity of any kind. I'm genuinely curious when people talk about buying a house like it's a common sense option.
As a millennial in my early 30's, the only people I know my age that own a house are people with parents that essentially handed them a fully built life when they came of age. As in, paid for college, bought their first (or first few) cars, floated them after college, paid for their weddings, then paid half or the full deposit on their "starter" home. And that's not a specific person I have in mind. That's every friend I have who owns a house. Their parents had that kind of money. Every other person I know that doesn't have rich parents (I'm in this camp) is working themselves to the bone just to scrape by. After 16 years in the workforce, 14 of those years being in a highly niche (but terribly paid) tech role, I can barely afford to keep a car running doing all of the work myself, let alone scrape together an extra $200 to get a secured card so I can finally start building credit. My pay checks are already consumed by the time they hit my account, and there's a seemingly endless backlog of debt from decades of poverty. My parents are finally at a point were they can help their kids at times, but it's in small amounts and they can only help one or two of us at a time. But, they're boomers who might never retire, so even taking small loans from them feels bad. It's an incredibly disparaging state of existence. I'm leaving out a lot of details for the sake of not writing a novel, but, I'm not financially illiterate, and I'm not giving up. I've just accepted the bleakness of my reality while I slowly grind myself (hopefully) out of it over the next 2 to 3 decades.
I'm not trying to whine, or point out your privilege. What I'm saying is; this is my reality. One in which the concept of "extra money" you can put aside for smart investments is a nice delusion to entertain. The fact that people like you are out there wondering why someone our age wouldn't buy a house boggles my mind, but also shows a very stark contrast in the lives of working/povery-class people and middle class and up. That is a huge problem.
But that's just my perspective. As I said, I'm genuinely curious to hear yours. How are you in a position where buying a house is the obvious option when statistics show that is very much not the case for most people under 40?
Edit: spelling.
So I was you. I wasn't financially stable until well into my forties. I would say I wasn't raised by anybody. Forget about no parental money. I had no parental guidance, and from that I made a TON of beyond stupid decisions.
Fast forward, and I finally got my shit together. I was able to get my daughter through college without debt and her mother sold her a car for a reasonable price.
So now she's in her early twenties making more money than I do, and she's always concerned with mismanaging it. But being who she is, she's also constantly worried that she's not doing enough good for others.
Her first house will be with her own money, but I was fortunate enough to help her get into that position.
Just on principle, I'm hell bent on leaving an estate to her even if she won't need it. From there, I just hope it further supplies her with the tools to realize her ultimate altruistic ambitions.
This being Lemmy, I'm sure something about this is wrong or evil or selfish. I can't accommodate every random Internet criticism, so I do the best I can.
As to the daughter, I'm just so proud of her. Aside from the line of work, she's artistic and empathetic and caring. You know, an exponentially better person than I could ever hope to be.
I joined the army before I was 18. I saved money while I was in Baghdad. My first house was 40k in 2006. I live in a small town in the middle of corn and soy fields. I have a union job. My wife and I are good about not blowing money. I put $20 bucks a week into different savings accounts to help pay for big expenses.