this post was submitted on 28 May 2024
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Autism

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the people I know don't listen and often hear the opposite of what I say. That's why I have to repeat myself a lot.

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[–] milicent_bystandr@lemm.ee 5 points 5 months ago

I'd like to add to that, that 'blunted empathy' can sound like you're a bad person: but as I understand it, and as I think I experience it, it's more about empathy in the precise sense: of not instinctively feeling how someone else feels about something. You can still care about a person, with kindness, but lack empathy. That can lead to not caring and being only self-interested, but doesn't have to. Sometimes the neurodivergent person is trying to express - and enact - kindness, but, being weak in empathy, has to find a different way to express it, one that would make sense to themselves. Often one with specific, logical meaning of words.

So this is kind of a message to neurodivergents. You can be realistic about a relative jack of empathy, but don't need to feel put down as a bad person, or that you're unkind. And I'm truly sorry for all the times people won't understand your kindness because of the 'language' barrier. Wish I could give you all a hug (if hugs are your thing).

Keep trying :-) And I hope there will be some people in your life who will keep trying to understand and express things your way too.