this post was submitted on 27 Jul 2023
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I have a friend that’s always late, like literally always. I tried to put myself in his shoes because he’s got 2 small kids and that should be extremely exhausting, but I don’t think he even tries anymore.
I'm perpetually late. Trying to arrive on time to things I don't occupies so much of my head. I try to build in buffer time for emergencies. And every single time I'm still late. I don't even have two kids. If your friend is anything like me, arriving late fills him with guilt every single time, and the two kids are factors of chaos in planning that simply cannot ever be fully accounted for
Reframe the way you think. Stop trying to arrive on time, and just commit to arriving early. I've easily arrived an hour early to appointments and just lounged around on reddit or read a book. I'd rather waste an hour of my time, than 15 minutes of a friend's (if you have an appointment with a group, multiply time you are late by # of people).
This is what we mean when we say people who are constantly late don't care about wasting other people's time. Even if they don't intend it, they are still choosing to prioritise themselves over others.
An hour seems excessive but shoot for 15 minutes. That should be enough of a bigger in most situations.