this post was submitted on 12 Jun 2024
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Very logical. Wonder why he hasn't stopped by to reverse the ban since the invention of refrigeration, or at least clarify the rule as just meaning to keep people safe?
"Hey guys, thanks for all the likes and subscribes over the years. Good to see you! Just wanted to give a shout-out to my man Leviticus. We knew, back in the day, that y'all weren't ready for the whole "microbe" thing, so we wanted to just kinda steer folks away from stuff that could hurt them. But man, you guys have been busy since then! You figured all this shit out! I'm proud of you, I really am. Or at least I would be if I was allowed, am I right?"
crowd laughs
"So yeah, now that it's mostly safe to eat that stuff, go right ahead. Watch out for buffets though... if they can afford to feed your uncle Charlie for five shekels they have to be cutting corners somewhere. Anyways, I gotta go so I will talk to you later. Be safe! Love, peace, and all that jazz!"
crowd cheers
"Oh, one more thing. If you could stop killing one another in my name that'd be great. It's super un-cool. But hey, free will and all. I won't stop you. Until next time!"
fanfare over credit roll
Hahaha. Well done ๐