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What is the optimal length that a couple should date before moving in?
(lemmy.perthchat.org)
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this post was submitted on 26 Dec 2022
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Psychology
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I'm actually having a hard time believing that there is a link between cohabitation before marriage and a higher rate of divorce. Could you provide a resource for that?
From my perspective, I'd imagine that one would want to cohabitate before marriage as it puts the relationship through a "stress test" of sorts.
Well, It's probably one of those misinterpretable stats. In this case, for example, it's probably because the same people that get married without knowing the other person very well are also part of a religion or culture where divorce is frowned upon. For example: arranged marriages have a divorce rate of 6-ish%
i provide a couple of links below in a response. i've heard this topic debated for years, but those two links were just recent output.
i agree that it makes sense that testing the waters before marriage would be good, but i think that it creates a difference in expectations for the relationship going forward. i think that, at least for some portion of the population, marriage is a true "do-or-die" decision, so once the vows are said, some things might start changing in the relationship dynamic. in terms of cohabitating, it could a difference in how finances are handled before and after marriage, or how household responsibilities are divided in the new era.
so my point is that cohabitating could create a false sense of security within the relationship. and i say that with the expectation that we all struggle with communication, especially in romantic relationships.