South Park did a whole episode about this with "fag" nobody is using the word to insult actual homosexuals (except hateful bigots I suppose) just like nobody us using the word "retard" to slur the disabled. (again apart from the bigoted assholes) if I say something that offends someone, then they can tell me and I'll apologize. But I don't need someone policing my language just in case someone might be upset by a word.

[–] spujb@lemmy.cafe 12 points 4 months ago

i guess you just have to ask yourself if you are cool with aligning your language with that of bigoted assholes - and risk hurting and/or being judged for it. i will judge you and probably assume you are on the side of the bigoted assholes simply because on a game of odds it’s more likely.

it takes very little effort to be kind and when minorities tell you a very minute step you can take to be kind i generally don’t want to try to fight back as though i’m the one being insulted.

[–] sabazius@lemmy.world 11 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

Not only is the word fag used by a lot of people, because there are a lot of hateful bigots out there, but even when you don't mean the nasty implications, it still reminds gay people around you how much the world hates them and leads hateful bigots who overhear you to believe that their views are more widely held and acceptable to share in public. Shocking though it may seem, South Park is not a moral authority on these matters.

Aside from that, if you know a word is commonly used a slur against a disprivileged group, someone advises you to stop using it, and your response is that you'd rather say it, hurt someone and apologise if they complain about it than just stop using that word, what does that say about your priorities?

[–] brbposting@sh.itjust.works 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Great episode.

I think they 👇

need an example of someone being hurt to drive their point home.

@spujb@lemmy.cafe do you have a ready example?

Aight this isn’t bad:

So I think we can be preemptively told not to say the word on social media. (RE: “if I…offend someone…I'll apologize”) When you’re talking to your best friend in your car though it’s probably hard to demand you police yourself (in the example you never use the word in public, and neither you nor your friend ever will no matter how much you say it privately). So it shouldn’t be a thought crime kinda but probably appropriate to avoid it in public or unfamiliar company.

Curious what you think of that take spujb - “tree falls in the forest …”

[–] spujb@lemmy.cafe 13 points 4 months ago

when an entire disabled community gets together and tells abled people that the word carries hurt, that should be more than enough evidence. if that’s not enough for a person, my only suggestion is to look inward and ask why they are so quick to doubt the personal statements of lived experiences of thousands of disabled folks.

regarding the “tree falls in the forest” thing—i literally don’t care. arguing it just gives bad vibes; some arguments you lose the moment you try to debate bro them. like i remember this one streamer who was like “but what if i said the n word in the vaccum of space where no light or sound could escape” and it’s just like bro the fact that you touch so little grass to the point you are arguing about this tells us all we need to know about you.