this post was submitted on 19 Jun 2024
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They'll probably publish the abridged version, sadly. The full version reads, as we well know:
Thou shall not commit adultery but, if thou doest, thou shalt pay off the other woman so that it harmeth not thy chances in the presidential election. Nor shall it turn thy supporters against thee when they heareth of it.
Text is laid out in the law:
https://legis.la.gov/legis/ViewDocument.aspx?d=1379435
The Ten Commandments
I AM the LORD thy God.
Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
Thou shalt not make to thyself any graven images.
Thou shalt not take the Name of the Lord thy God in vain.
Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.
Honor thy father and thy mother, that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.
Thou shalt not kill.
Thou shalt not commit adultery.
Thou shalt not steal.
Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his cattle, nor anything that is thy neighbor's
And then there's a context statement trying to pretend this is a foundational legal document of the United States.
I take it shops in Loiusiana will be closed on Saturday from now on as well as everyone being forbidden form working?
no more capital punishment,
and if one sins, God will punish one's children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.
Makes me wonder actually how badly this'll backfire. Students are inevitably going to ask their teachers why death penalties exist or other things like this.
https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Bible_(Tyndale)/Matthew#Chapter_19
😁🙂
Been a minute since I read these. It's so telling that the actual crimes start at 6, and move to thought crimes at 9. The rest is god fluffing itself.
You forgot the most important line!
"Thou shalt use these commandments as the foundation of law in a country called the United States of America in the year 1776 after killing my son"
C'mon it's so iconic
That excludes a lot from the biblical text.
The "no working on the sabbath" thing continues on to list that you also can't make servants work on the sabbath - which would include the poor verbally abused waffle house staff working the Sunday brunch shift when the after church crowd comes in...
Something something Jesus invalidated that part.
Conviently forgetting that means Christianity explicitly does not consider these to be very important.
There's only like 2.5 of the ten commandments in U.S. law.
It should be in proper English: not these new interpretations—as if they could re-write the Bible—blasphemy! I say.
ws:Bible (Tyndale)/Exodus#Chapter 20
https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/Bible_(Tyndale)/Exodus#Chapter_20
This is clearly a rewrite, it should be in Hebrew
Source