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Paris Olympics will give out 300,000 condoms to athletes, continuing long-held tradition
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this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2024
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Here I was, thinking that this had to be at least in part a publicity stunt thing (no way they need 300 000 condoms), and reading that the Tokyo games needed to buy 20 000 extra when the first 70 000 started running out.
The Olympic Village is packed with young, attractive athletes in peak physical shape. They are notorious fuckfests.
Personally though, I say: ban condoms. Let’s see what freakishly fit and capable superhuman Olympic babies we can get out of it. There’s bound to be some future potential gold medallists that end up in a condom…
There may have been a period in my late teens after I'd read an article about them running out of condoms where I wanted to become an elite athlete so I could go to the Olympics just for the fuckfests. Teenage me was obviously hoping to score with someone from the Brazilian volleyball team or something.
Well now, despite having the genes for it (and no, this is not a joke; I have more genetic potential for athletic performance than at least 90% of the population, as does my entire family, which does include Olympic athletes), I never had the discipline. But then I found a woman who I'm crazy about and this has lasted slightly longer than an Olympic fuckfest, so I reckon I'm not missing out on all that much. Though I suppose an orgy with a bunch of super fit people is never going to be in the cards for me, but I'll survive.
I think I became an incel reading that.
I was like 16 and a virgin, loaded with way too much testosterone. I'm no longer an incel, but I'll admit it was a fucked up mindset. But it's pretty common in teenage boys I'm fairly sure. Why do you think Hollywood makes so many movies about teenagers trying to get laid?
The issue is not the moment you lived, it's how you wrote the whole thing. We know that teenagers are chock-full of hormones and sometime think and do weird things, but that is not the issue here.
Dude. Being better than 90% of the population means there are probably a couple people better than you in gym class. That ain't getting you into the Olympics 🤣
Bro thinks Olympians are the top 10%. Lol. You're thinking of your school's basketball team.
This comment fucking rules, dude. Very entertaining. Thanks for sharing. Ignore all the people saying you don’t have the makings of a varsity athlete.
The condoms have also become a popular souvenir from the athlete's village, especially in recent years. Many athletes take the condoms specifically to give to family and friends back home, if they personally aren't planning on having sex while there. To be fair, they are basically a perfect souvenir because they are small and lightweight, inexpensive, and something you can't get anywhere else, as they are often printed with unique packaging for the games.
So what you're saying is that if there was ever a failure of the product in about 19 years I could raise an army of superhumans?