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I Am Not Always Very Attached To Being Alive: Living With Passive Suicidal Ideation
(theoutline.com)
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Men generally do not have community spaces or social support networks at this moment in history. It's something that urgently needs a social movement to address that also doesn't involve bigotry, flag-waving or outright nazism as an antidote.
I am glad you didn't kill yourself, too. Stay strong.
I personally think men are more likely to be successful at suicide, because men are conditioned to not mind dying by society so they will enlist in the military. There is a LOT of propaganda teaching young men the best thing they can do is sacrifice themselves.
Women attempt more because their quality of life is worse. They just don't succeed because they are taught to be nonviolent and that it's bad for them to die. They also have less access to guns, because again, we have a huge military culture here that pushes gun ownership on men for military enlistment reasons. Imo women attempt more with poisoning because women are often highly distressed about what they eat/thinness (eating disorders genuinely kill people).