Transfem
A community for transfeminine people and experiences.
This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.
Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.
- Please follow the rules of the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance.
- Bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated.
- Gatekeeping will not be tolerated.
- Please be kind and respectful to all.
- Please tag NSFW topics.
- No NSFW image posts.
- Please provide content warnings where appropriate.
- Please do not repost bigoted content here.
Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.
To make such a request, at the start of the body of your post, not in the title, the first line should look like the this: [Requesting Engagement from _________]
Some helpful links:
- The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
- Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
- LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
- Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
- TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
- TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
- Gender Spectrum // Resources for youth, parents and family, educators, mental health professionals and faith leaders.
Support Hotlines:
- The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
- TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
- LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
- 988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.
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I guess it depends how your emotions resolve. If you don't want to be seen as a boy/man, then you can ask them to stop calling you that without elaborating further. I personally would not have friends or continue to stay in a space where people didn't respect my identity, pronouns, or whatever label I choose for myself.
For my transition I'm not looking to be seen as or called a boy - period, so being called a femboy would cause me the same pangs as being misgendered.
I think the thing I would think about is if you're okay with people deciding who you are. Sure, there's some affirmation as they see you as feminine, but once you open up to these people about your goals, will they respect you or continue to call you something that doesn't align with your transition.
Well In a way I like it because it means they see me as something different from a man without me even asking them to do anything that's very validating for me. But yeah I'm scared that might happen indeed.
Well I am boymoding so I suppose it's a step up?
I am 100% toying with the idea of asking them to use feminine pronouns to refer to me. Though I'm scared of being seen as illegitimate. I still have some beard shadow I can't get rid of without laser.
I think your feelings on this are super valid. Each step can be a bit scary, especially when you aren't sure how people in your life are going to react. Pronouns and gender identity are your choice 🩷 remember that it's not about passing or having certain checkboxes checked, it's about how you feel and what you're working on/towards! One aspect of transitioning is finding people who respect who you are and who you want to become without gatekeeping or forcing their personal versions of gender on you. Women can have beards, body hair, deep voices, balding, huge muscles, etc - it's fine if you don't want these things for yourself, but none of these are a reason to think you aren't valid as a woman.
If you can, I super encourage you to try to find more queer places and people to interact with. You'll find there's a huge spectrum of gender presentation and identity - it really helped me feel confident and comfortable with my choices and feelings.