My first exploration of gender fluidity was realizing that on the internet, my bits don't matter and i don’t experience gender, so why do sites keep asking?

[–] jabathekek@sopuli.xyz 18 points 3 months ago (1 children)

why do sites keep asking?

Collecting and selling your data for "marketing"!

[–] webghost0101@sopuli.xyz 14 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Thats why i just randomize my details these days.

[–] AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net 7 points 3 months ago

Galaxy brain: gender fluidity to keep the advertisers on their toes

[–] P4ulin_Kbana 4 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

May I respectfully ask you about how it is like being gender fluid?

[–] webghost0101@sopuli.xyz 11 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Almost nothing is different but i feel less restricted.

It also important to note i am an autist and i have always felt like the expectation of society dont match my reality.

When i got together with my partner i did not have much experience and i warned her i might be asexual (i am not but sex remains overrated)

I am still a dad to my kids, a husband to my wife. Because in context to them my gender makes sense. There are definitely some gender stereotypes in our household even. Outside my household i just found i dont need to express gender, it rarely comes up. Very few people know but i am not hiding it.

I am super chill about pronouns though, you can call me whatever, as a teen i got upset when people thought i was a girl for my long hair, now a compliment.

The biggest perk is not caring about how many products are gendered, i just get the stuff i like no matter if its pink with flowers. I refuse to apologize or be embarrassed for my harmless expression of personal taste.

I have always questioned certain things like genders for clothes limiting my expression, i do not identify as a women but i do recognize a feminine part, there are typed of Victorian dresses that i think would look awesome with my long hair and a beard.

I am against alpha male bully attitudes and a much more emotional and softer person then is expected of me.

As an adult I realized i love dancing and i now know i might have even liked ballet but i never got into any of it cause dancing was for my sisters.

My Minecraft skin has always appeared more feminine and i know thats not just the guy plays girl trope. As an austist that game is some sort of sanctum for me to be myself. It may seem small but ut was one of the first clear positive feelings with female expression. I just didn’t know it yet but i already subconsciously understood that in virtual space expressing my biological sex has no point.

My dad has a complex history and was bullied into believing they where gay and was thought not to cry or show emotion. I turned that into the most Powerfull and brave thing you can do as a man (or other) is whatever you feel like and not care about how other people may perceive you as not fitting an expected standard. And emotions are just life, crying is psychological progress. Knowing what is good for you isn’t embarrassing.

I heard Nemo on eurosong, with the power that comes from them you can build twice the man my dad believed he acted like. Their song made me tell my partner about my realization. They took it well.

[–] P4ulin_Kbana 4 points 3 months ago

Thank you for taking time to answer my question, I really appreciate hearing your life story, hope you have an amazing, wonderful day!

[–] Ziglin@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Isn't this dynamically assigned at boot? I'm still not sure about how (different forms of) gender fluidity work. I believe I personally am agender but am not sure yet and still confused.

[–] webghost0101@sopuli.xyz 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Brains are unique so identify comes in many flavors.

Many people experience a uniform and unchanging sense of gender identity, This can be anywhere on the spectrum. Binary, between or other, kitty.

Gender fluidity as I understand it is more dynamic and can change, for some people day by day for me its the social context and the logical realization that except for sex my sex should be irrelevant.

I still have a defined radius which is guess is assigned at boot. I identity as agender, nonbinary, and between male and agender but i have never identified as a women.

[–] Ziglin@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I'd never really thought about those kinds of combinations. I'm still not sure how one can indentify as a binary gender so yeah.

Non-binary to me is generally just an umbrella term for between or outside the binary genders (and intersex? (Should be a non-binary sex though right?)). When you say you identify as genderfluid in form of a mix of agender, non-binary, and between male and agender. Does this mean that the non-binary part is a part that exists outside of the other ones, that is more difficult to name/describe?

Also the last part (between agender and male) confuses me. Is that the assigned upon boot part? Or is it actually a mix?

I really want a mathematical representation of gender but it would be impossible to make it inclusive and useful.

[–] webghost0101@sopuli.xyz 1 points 3 months ago

My own mathematical model of a gender spectrum matches close to that of the autism spectrum.

I visualize these spectrums in 3 dimensions but understanding that with our limited brain capacity reality could easily have spectrums with more then 3 dimensions.

Strong big macho man is one of the extremities on that spectrum a fashionista femme fatal another.

Most people are somewhere between that but ver clearly on one side. I took issue with all macho-centric competition others from my sex where involved with. I am a much more softer and emotional person. Simply lacking the desire to be the manliest man already makes me a women to some.

So i am on the male-female spectrum on the male side.

But i am also on the less expressive side of gender expression. To me its related to wether or not i am looking to mate.

I am married so i am not looking to mate so i have no reason to express either male or female features.

I believe there are opposites who are non binary / fluid but are full of genders expression, expression that could be either male or female or both at once. A key You need to remember here is that such people are really confusing for cis gendered people because they are attracted and repulsed at the same time.

Now trying to get back to mathematical perspective. One of the reasons i think that nonbinary who expresses still often loan from binary expression is because, i believe that our binary gender expression is an Emerging properties from our conscious on having a sexual body.

Or biological sex evolved binary so did our experience of gender. Now as experiment with their bodies and toys its possible we end up with some kind of sex that can Be expressed and is no sense male or female.

Furry’s come to mind. They are often also binary but i am pretty sure they have kinks that only work on their own. If you remembered the key from before. Cis gender people may only be repulsed by a furry trying to court them. A tail wagging sexually is neither male or female gender expression.

Does this help/ make any sense?