Trans

Hey all!

So I'm a cis guy who's only queer in the sense that I'm demisexual heteroromantic. Recently to my surprise, I've gotten into a relationship, and more surprising is the fact that the woman I'm dating is trans. Without coming off the wrong way, I never thought I'd find myself in a relationship with someone who's trans, and thankfully so far it seems as if there isn't a whole lot about dating her that's too different from my previous relationships, putting aside of course that she's easily been the best partner I've had to date.

The thing is, she's still working on her transition. While I think she does an incredible job presenting herself for who she truly is to the world, she's not quite fully at the point where she wants to be just yet with. Namely, she wants to do some work with her voice, and get top surgery.

Now what I want to do of course is be the most supportive partner I can be and help her with getting to where she wants to be. She mentioned that she has a lot of trouble with voice training, and in looking things up online, I came across voice feminization surgery. I brought it up to her, and she seems to have really appreciated me telling her about it.

In terms of top surgery, I've been looking into it, and was looking into the different types of implants available. I read that silicone implants apparently feel the most natural and comparable to regular developed breasts, and while I want to give her all the options available, I also think that silicone would likely be the best option of the different types for that reason, especially since she's questioned her validity as a woman before and I want her to feel like and be her true self.

However, I've been reflecting a bit. While I'm happy to explore these things and learn more about them to try and help her find what's best for her, I also don't want her to get the wrong idea of things. While it hasn't been the case to date that she's taken things this way, even specifically telling me she appreciates what I'm doing, I also worry about either getting potentially too involved in her personal life, giving the wrong idea that I'm making suggestions based on my own interests rather than hers, or that I might lead her make a decision where the end result doesn't match the person she is and wants to fully be.

What can I do as a partner for her who's cis to best assist her with her journey in transitioning? Where should my place be in supporting her through her journey? How can I prevent myself from making a good-intentioned suggestion that might not end up being the most affirming thing for her? How can I ensure that I'm giving her all the information she needs accurately, without unknowingly pushing options that might not work best for her?

Thanks in advance, I'll be sure to start responding once I wake up and will take any criticism and critique as needed.