I had subtly internalized that idea from growing up in a small, narrow-minded town. I don't remember it explicitly being said to me but probably it has. Don't think it came from my parents though. Definitely not from my mom, maybe from my dad.

My point is that despite the subtlety of it all (as far as I can remember), I had a hard time getting over this internalised toxic masculinity. I can only imagine if it was much more explicit.

But you are you! You define your own masculinity. And as paradoxal as it may seem, being comfortable in your own masculinity, however you define it, is the most manly thing you can do.