139
submitted 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) by Stamets@lemmy.world to c/tenforward@lemmy.world

Ad Read here! I got really bored after work. Figured I'd make something like the Oops All Moopsy's and the Tribbles n Bits commercials I made a while back.

Space. The final frontier. But let’s face it – it’s also the final debate chamber. From the Council chambers of the Federation to the back rooms of Romulus, if you thought your adventures in the stars were all about discovering strange new worlds, think again. They’ve always been about one thing…

[Dramatic pause]

Politics!

That’s right, introducing Oops! All Politics! – the breakfast cereal that finally tells it like it is. You weren’t just boldly going where no one’s gone before – you were negotiating trade agreements, dealing with interstellar immigration, and managing ethical dilemmas every step of the way. And now, that same tangled mess of diplomacy is available in a balanced, part-of-a-nutritious-breakfast form.

Take a bite and dive into the age-old complexities of Romulan refugee crises – remember that whole thing with the Romulan supernova? Now you can chew through it, one bite at a time! Or maybe you'd prefer a spoonful of Federation-Klingon relations – because what’s breakfast without a side of ritualistic combat followed by tense ceasefire talks?

But we don’t stop there – Oops! All Politics! is packed with real, Starfleet-endorsed moral quandaries! Will you side with the Maquis or the Federation? Can the Prime Directive really handle this kind of breakfast? It’s all in there. And every crunch is a new ethical conundrum. Each bite is one step closer to solving the galaxy’s biggest questions – or just rehashing them endlessly like your favorite season arc. Need something with even more bite? How about the Borg reparations clause? Or the thorny, ever-present struggle of AI rights? If it’s divisive, controversial, and guaranteed to spark a heated debate at your breakfast table, we’ve crammed it into this cereal box!

Now, we know what you’re thinking: 'But Starfleet was about exploration! Discovery! Pushing the boundaries of space, not politics!' Well, let’s not kid ourselves – every decision to chart a new course came with a debate in the ready room. Every first contact was followed by a long, politically charged discussion with a council, a tribunal, or at least a conference call back to Earth. You might’ve been watching for the phasers, but Captain Picard? He’s always been about the hard choices – in and out of the captain’s chair.

Picard: "Starfleet was never about avoiding tough choices. It's always been about facing them. With a spoon!"

And if that doesn't sum up the nature of exploration, here's a final thought from Captain Picard to carry you through your morning routine:

Picard: "The pursuit of knowledge, justice, and equality has never been simple, but neither has breakfast!"

You heard the man! Oops! All Politics! – the only cereal that doesn’t just fuel your body, it gets your brain racing with endless possibilities of galactic governance! And for those who need their mornings with a bit more time-travel-induced headache, we’ve sprinkled in just a dash of temporal prime directive violations. Perfect for those mornings when you just need to re-evaluate causality over your tea, or more likely, coffee.

And let’s be honest – it’s not just about what’s in your bowl. It’s about the bigger picture. Why isn’t that replicator unionized? Are the Ferengi getting fair trade deals on cereal exports? Who’s setting the price on Mini Moopsie Bites or these dilithium-flavored marshmallows, and is it even ethical?! So, if you’re ready to start your day with the kind of discussions that used to be reserved for stuffy admirals and rogue captains, pour yourself a big ol' bowl of Oops! All Politics! – because, deep down, you’ve always known… it’s never been just about the exploration. It’s always been about the politics. And now, it’s breakfast too.

Warning: Oops! All Politics! may cause extreme discomfort for anyone who thinks that Star Trek was just about lasers and space ships. Side effects include critical thinking, sudden realizations about systemic issues, and the uncomfortable awareness that your favorite episodes always had something to say. If you suffer from the belief that the Federation wasn't always striving for a better, more just galaxy, consult a new viewing of Deep Space Nine immediately. Results may vary based on personal capacity for empathy and logic. Ask yourself: 'Was Starfleet ever not woke?' If the answer is no, congratulations – you’re ready for the truth.

Oops! All Politics! – available wherever your replicator will acknowledge its duty to your morning routine. And don’t forget, that’s a replicator with full labor rights, naturally.

Picard: "In the end, it’s not just politics... it’s a balanced part of your day. And trust me, nothing pairs better with a hot earl gray than a good ethical debate."

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
this post was submitted on 06 Sep 2024
139 points (97.3% liked)

TenForward: Where Every Vulcan Knows Your Name

3693 readers
687 users here now

/c/TenFoward: Your home-away-from-home for all things Star Trek!

Re-route power to the shields, emit a tachyon pulse through the deflector, and post all the nonsense you want. Within reason of course.

~ 1. No bigotry or fascism. This is a Star Trek community. Hating someone off of their race, culture, creed, sexuality, or identity is not remotely acceptable, neither is supporting people who actively want to kill those groups. Mistakes can happen but do your best to respect others.

~ 2. Keep it civil. Disagreements will happen both on lore and preferences. That's okay! Just don't let it make you forget that the person you are talking to is also a person.

~ 3. Use spoiler tags. This applies to any episodes that have dropped within 3 months prior of your posting. After that it's free game.

~ 4. Keep it Trek related. This one is kind of a gimme but keep as on topic as possible.

~ 5. Keep posts to a limit. We all love Star Trek stuff but 3-4 posts in an hour is plenty enough.

~ 6. Try to not repost. Mistakes happen, we get it! But try to not repost anything from within the past 1-2 months.

~ 7. No General AI Art. Posts of simple AI art do not 'inspire jamaharon' and fuck over our artist friends.

Fun will now commence.


Sister Communities:

!startrek@lemmy.world

!memes@lemmy.world

!tumblr@lemmy.world

!lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world

Want your community to be added to the sidebar? Just ask one of our mods!


Honorary Badbitch:

@jawa21@startrek.website for realizing that the line used to be "want to be added to the sidebar?" and capitalized on it. Congratulations and welcome to the sidebar. Stamets is both ashamed and proud.


Creator Resources:

Looking for a Star Trek screencap? (TrekCore)

Looking for the right Star Trek typeface/font for your meme? (Thank you @kellyaster for putting this together!)


founded 10 months ago
MODERATORS