Top screenshot and [left] transcript are real and verbatim from Sept 4 broadcast on national TV.
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"Fellas, is it gay to use a straw?"
Fragile snowflake weirdos more obsessed with dicks than I am, and I'm gay as fuck.
How much straws do you use?
None. I deep throat all bottles and cups and then pass all remaining plastic through my superior digestive tract like a real man. /s